Monday, February 24, 2014

The season of change

"You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere.  That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place."--Miriam Adeney

My friend Jackie sent me this quote months ago, but it's only recently I can really feel the weight of it.  I love my life abroad, but recently I'm realizing that the decision to come to Korea has made my life infinitely more complicated.  I'm not sure I will ever feel completely "home" ever again.  For the rest of my life, I will have friends that live around the world.  It's a tremendous blessing, but at the same time, even when I return to NH, home will never quite be the same because my heart won't ever fully be there ever again. It's always going to be in Korea, South Africa, and Hong Kong to name a few. It's a blessing, but one that is going to take time for me to lean how to be comfortable with.

Things are rapidly changing here in Jeomchon.  Not only are the days getting longer and warmer (it's light when I leave work AND there aren't any temperatures lower than 45 degrees in the forecast!), but this is also the time of year when people leave Korea. It's the season of goodbyes.

I've never been good at dealing with change.  I mean, I'm the girl who cried every single year when I had to move out of my college dorm room. I know change is a part of life, but I just don't deal with it well--especially when it means losing people who are important to me.  I know it goes with the territory of being abroad, but as much as everyone says I'll get used to it, I'm not sure I ever will.

Luckily, I don't have too many goodbyes to say.  Jeomchon will lose the majority of its people in August, and most of the people leaving this intake weren't around too much.  However, I did have to say goodbye to Jackie, my friend from Hong Kong who I met way back in September.  Jackie is one of those people it was easy to become friends with.  She and I got close really quickly and managed to create quite the amount of memories in only six months.  Saying goodbye to her really sucked, even though I know that I WILL see her again (next time in Hong Kong!) And of course I know that we can easily communicate through Kako, Snapchat, and Skype.  Still, trips to Seoul just won't be the same.  I'm glad we got to have so much fun together, but my experience in Korea is definitely going to be different without her here.  This goodbye was by far the most difficult I'm going to have to least until August, but I don't even want to think about that yet.
It's amazing how quickly you can get close to people.  So happy that I met this girl.  Already looking forward to reuniting in Hong Kong!
Things are also about to change at school.  Many of the teachers at school are leaving and new ones are coming in.  Things are being shuffled around, and today I had to move all of my stuff to a new desk (which made me realize I have way too much stuff). On Monday the new school year will begin and I will have a bunch of new students.  I've enjoyed my laid back schedule the past few months, but I'm looking forward to having a routine again. In the midst of these changes, I'm looking forward to having some stability returned to my life.  

In the meantime, I'm about as emotionally drained as I could possible be.  Between the traveling I've been doing over the past month, the chaos of this weekend, and saying goodbye to Jackie this morning, I'm just about ready to lock myself in my apartment for the next week.  I love being around people, but I eventually get to the point where I need to shut out the world and recharge--I'm definitely at that point now.  

Until next time!

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