Wednesday, April 9, 2014

What's next?

My heart wants roots
My mind wants wings.
I cannot bear
Their bickerings.
--E.Y. Harburg

As I was sitting at my desk this afternoon, I started flipping through my calendar.  I have four months left to my contract.  It's astounding to see how many of those weekends are already booked.

The reality of the decisions I have to make are starting to hit me straight in the face.

I'm not ready to move back home (although I am ready for a visit). There's so much to see and do yet.  I'm not ready for this to be it.

But then, I'm not sure what the best decision for next year is.  I feel completely conflicted, yet I suppose that's how it nearly always is when it comes to making decisions about the future.  There's no certainty about how things will be, and that's what makes it so scary.  But then again, I wasn't ever 100% certain about coming to Korea in the first place and it was the best decision I ever made.

Times like these I need to remind myself to breathe.  A lot can change in 4 months.

That's not always a bad thing.

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