Some days teaching in Korea goes a little like this...

Today I was reviewing how to give advice and suggestions with my first grade girls.  I gave them different scenarios and they had to practice giving advice for each situation.  One of the situations I gave them was "My boyfriend doesn't love me anymore."  The overwhelming solution I got from my students?

"You must get plastic surgery!"

Just imagine a room full of 15 year old girls telling you that if a boy doesn't love you, you need to get plastic surgery.  Pretty much a dagger through my heart.

In a later class I gave them the problem "A boy likes me, but I don't like him."  One of the solutions was "You should tell him to get plastic surgery."  At which point I tried to explain that the problem actually the way he looked, but the way he ACTED.

And yes, I threw in a lot of relationship problems because hey, it gets their attention EVERY single time.  Seriously, if I ever need to wake up those sleeping students, all I have to do is make some sort of scenario about a boyfriend.

Anyway, I blew my students' minds the other day when I asked them some "would you rather" questions.  One of the questions was "Would you rather be rich and ugly or poor and beautiful?"  I told them if they chose rich they couldn't get plastic surgery to become beautiful.  The overwhelming choice for this question was that they would rather be poor and beautiful.

I told them that I would definitely rather be rich and ugly--they couldn't believe it.  They said it was because I was "already beautiful", at which point I told them I would much rather be ugly and rich because I could travel, see the world, and help countless people with my money. At that point they were all staring at me with looks that were partly confused and partly in agreement.  I think I caused some major cognitive dissonance.  Score!

I know I've written plenty about both the importance of appearance here, and the way in which students talk so nonchalantly about plastic surgery, but after 7 months here, it still blows me away.

My first students are smart and beautiful young women.  It really breaks my heart that they only see all of their "imperfections", which I'm sure have been pointed out to them from a young age.

When we were practicing giving advice today I gave groups slips of paper with problems written on them, then they had to give people suggestions one by one.  For one of the problems one girl was told by her group she needed plastic surgery to change her face.  I was walking by as I heard that suggestion, at which point I exclaimed "No! Your face is beautiful!"

She looked at me in disbelief and proceeded to tell me over and over how touched she was.

I hope my students improve their English while they're in my class, but I think I'll be even happier if they at least re-examine some of their beliefs about what's important in life--if they at least know that there are different perspectives out there.  I love Korea, but man, this is a tough country to grow up in.

Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like plastic surgery!

Today I was talking to one of my first grade girls during class and she informed me that on December 21st she is going to Seoul to get double-eyelid surgery.  Yes, she is getting plastic surgery as a Christmas present from her parents.  She is 16 years old.

I guess I shouldn't be so surprised by this because I am well-aware of the role of plastic surgery in Korea.  I knew about it before I came, and I've already had many conversations with students about it.  However, I don't think I'll ever really get used to hearing my students talk so nonchalantly about this stuff.  It's just not ever going to be ok for me.

Also, I was told today that I have a "small head", high nose, and big eyes.  These are all considered desirable things in Korea.  Of course, all I could do was laugh because ok sure, maybe my nose is "high" but it's huge, and not desirable in any way by American beauty standards.

I love all my girl students, but I just don't know what to do with these conversations sometimes.

The best invention in the world is...

Today I did a lesson with my second graders that focused on inventions.  After I showed a brief slideshow of some famous inventors and their inventions, they had to work in groups to decide on what they thought are the five best inventions of all time.  The following are some of the answers I got:

Fried chicken
Rice burgers
Toothbrushes
Toothpaste
Toilet paper
Fire
Religion
Telephones
PC rooms
Plastic surgery

Yes, that's plastic surgery.  I asked the student why and he said plastic surgery, and he said that it is because people can get plastic surgery and  it will change their lives and they will have more opportunities.  I asked him what kind of opportunities, and I don't think he understood, so my co-teacher stepped in to tell me that in Korea people care more about your appearance than they do about character.

Now, I don't think that is absolutely true by any means--Korean people certainly DO care about character, but lest I forget this country is number 1 in the world for plastic surgery, my students have told me on MANY occasions that this it's a big deal in Korea.

Earlier this week I did a lesson where I told the students a short story about a man who wakes up in the middle of the night and goes down to his basement to an old trunk, takes out an envelope, throws it in the fire, goes back to his room, kisses his wife on the cheek, and goes to sleep.  The students basically had to write a back story to tell me why he threw the envelope into the fire.  I got some pretty entertaining stories, but it was really interesting to see how many of the stories mentioned plastic surgery.  I would say at least a third of the stories had at least some mention to plastic surgery at some point.

These two lessons have really reminded me that plastic surgery is just a fact of life for many Koreans today.  When I turn on the tv and see models in commercials or any of the Korean celebrities on a tv show, it is beyond obvious that they have had considerable plastic surgery.  They simply don't look like the Korean people I encounter on a daily basis (which is really a shame because Korean people really are naturally beautiful).

To finish my lesson today, my students had to create an invention of their own. One group created a cream that lightens your skin.  I told them about how Americans think that it is beautiful to have dark skin and they were perplexed. It is so crazy to me that many people tan obsessively, to the point where they get cancer, when in Korea people want absolutely nothing to do with being tan (they would never want to be mistaken as a southeast Asian).

When I hear my students talk so nonchalantly about plastic surgery, I want nothing more than to tell them that the plastic surgery craze is nonsense.  For a country that values its culture so deeply, I cannot understand why physically they strive for a western ideal instead of valuing what is unique about their identity.  There is a complete contradiction that exists in Korean culture--they are proud of their heritage and the obstacles they have overcome, but do not think their natural appearance can be acceptable without undergoing surgery.  One of my classes voted Hangul (the Korean writing system) as the best invention in the history of the world because "they are Korean and it has kept their culture", but two minutes later the same students were telling me about the importance of plastic surgery.

 I want to tell my students to fight against this notion that they need to change their appearance to have a good life. I want to tell them not to buy into it--to ignore these messages from society.

Of course, it's easy for me to say...I will one day leave Korea, and return to the US.  The majority of  my students will always live in Korea.  Their opportunities for marriage and employment often DO rely on their image. Of course, we have our own image problems in the US. There are plenty of teens in the US who feel the pressure to be something they're not.  But I can without doubt say the pressure in Korea is far more intense.  Or maybe Koreans are just more honest with themselves about the issue.  Maybe it is just as bad in the US, but we don't acknowledge it or we try to bury the subject.  I don't really know, but what I certainly DO know is that there is something incredibly disturbing to me about a beautiful sixteen year old girl telling me that plastic surgery is the best invention ever because it can "change your life and help you get a boyfriend."

I know I can't change this part of the culture, and it's neither my job or place to do so. It's disheartening, but I suppose I can only try to find the little things I can do, like telling my girls that they are beautiful or giving them compliments when I talk to them.

Maybe if they hear it enough they'll actually start to believe it.

Korea is definitely not America.

This week I was teaching my students about some idioms that we use in English.  The specific lesson that I did focused on idioms that refer to colors.  As a class activity, they had to create a dialogue using an assigned place, situation, and two idioms.  Here is what I got from two of my male students:

A:  I think think we need to break up.
B: What? Why?
A: I'm gay.
B: What?  That is out of the blue.
A:  Really, I am gay. This is my new boyfriend (as he points to another student)
B:  Well now you have shown your true colors.


Many of the dialogues were hilarious, but this one easily takes the cake.  There are many things that happen in my classes in Korea that would NEVER happen in America.  For example, this dialogue happened in a class of all boys. I can't imagine any of my students back home ever volunteering to even pretend to be gay for even two seconds.  Don't get me wrong, I think being gay in America is WAY more acceptable than it is in Korea, but the dynamics between the students are different.

It's not uncommon to see members of the same sex holding hands as they walk down the street in Korea.  In fact, in Korea, this is a symbol of friendship, not one's sexual orientation, and I often see it between my students.  During class I'll often see my male students rub each other's shoulders, especially when one of their classmates has fallen asleep and they need to wake them up.  It's always interesting to see, and has made me realize that America is really a "hands-off" culture.

Korea has its own gender roles and social norms, and some align with those in the US, but some are strikingly different.  For example, when I was on my class field trip Everland a while ago, as we were standing in line, the woman in front of us took out her compact powder and started applying make-up to her boyfriend.  And while it surprised me at first, as I thought about it, I realized that many of the Korean heart throbs are not macho, tough looking guys, but they are actually feminine looking.  I've noticed that Korea seems to have the same standard of beauty for both men and women.  It's really interesting that in America women fantasize about men with muscles and ripped abs, but I haven't seen any of that marketed in Korea.

Also, on a somewhat different note, on Friday I put on a Taylor Swift song for my all-male class while they were completing an assignment. And they loved it.  And they sang along.  I couldn't help but laugh to myself as I tried to imagine what would happen if I ever put on a Taylor Swift song on for a classroom full of American boys.  HA!

Day 2

Originally written Wednesday, 8/28

Day 2 is down…talk about exhausting! I got picked up at 9:00 this morning by my co-teacher.  After we got on the road she told me that she was bringing me to get my picture taken.  I totally forgot that I would need a picture for my ARC (I actually brought a bunch of passport pictures with me, but I didn’t think to bring them, and I didn’t want to ask her to turn around to go pick them up, so I just went with it). In the US when you need a passport picture you just go to a CVS or Wal-Mart, but we went to a legit photo studio.  The woman who was taking my picture insisted on pushing all my bangs completely aside, buttoning my black cardigan up to the highest button, and not allowing me to smile.  Just use your imagination to picture how wonderful these photos look.  Oh well.

After that we went to school because we had to wait until 11:00 to pick up the pictures.  I got a tour of the school (which is so small!) and got a glimpse of some of the students I will be teaching.  It was really entertaining to see the way that the students would stare at me when they saw me walking through the halls.  There is definitely no blending in here.

 

At 11:00 we went to pick up my pictures then headed to Gumi to apply for my Alien Registration Card.  Gumi is where I got picked up by my co-teacher yesterday (about an hour and twenty minute drive), so I’m definitely getting lots of quality time with my co-teacher.  We stopped for lunch along the way and she of course directed me towards the “western food”. This “western food” was pork with a brown sauce on it, but of course it was served with rice, kimchi, and Korean soup.  I actually think the most western thing about it was that we used a fork and knife, but regardless, the food was good, and for probably the first meal since I’ve been here, I didn’t have to guess what is was that I was eating. 

Registering for my ARC was actually very quick, and we were on our way in no time.  On our way back, we stopped to open my bank account.  I didn’t think this was possible until I had my ARC, but my co-teacher did the talking and they let me open an account anyway.  Next we stopped at a cell phone store.  I was also sure that I wouldn’t be able to get a phone until I had my ARC, but since my co-teacher was able to get me a bank account, I figured I’d let her try this too.  Unfortunately, they said that I would have to wait, so I am still phoneless.  C’est la vie. 

After running all of those errands we went back to school because my co-teacher had to teach a class.  I really wanted to use the internet to check my e-mail and facebook, but there were other teachers trying to get a messenger program to run on my computer the whole time.  At 6:00 we went to a restaurant downtown for dinner with all the teachers from the school.  The food at dinner was SO GOOD.  We had Korean barbeque, which I was very happy about because I had heard such amazing things about it—it definitely lived up to the hype.  Yay Korea!

I have to say, Koreans know how to do it right.  The beer and soju were flowing, and everyone was having a good time.  Of course, there were plenty of awkward moments as I struggled to use my chopsticks in front of everyone….it’s a skill I definitely need to work on.  There were many times when I would try to pick up something and then drop it.  Oops. 

At the beginning of dinner I was sitting with my co-teacher and another young male English teacher, and about halfway through my co-teacher got up and sat somewhere else, only to bring back another young female English teacher.  Then, my co-teacher said something to the other teachers, picked up her things, and said “Bye, see you tomorrow!”

Ummmmm….ok?  Of course, I figured that this meant that I she thought I would be more comfortable with the other English teachers, which was nice (although not necessary because she really is the sweetest lady!) I talked to the other teachers for a while…they are GREAT.  Both of them are in their first year of teaching, so they are around my age and speak really good English.  It turns out one of the other teachers lives right in the same area as me.  Yay!

As expected, these past few days have been really awkward.  I’ve been doing a lot of smiling when I don’t really know what’s going on.  There are a lot of times when I know that the other teachers are having a conversation about me, but I have no idea what they’re saying.  It’s really kind of an odd feeling. 

There have been so many impressions to make over these past few days, and it really is exhausting.  I just hope that I am doing enough right to make good impressions.  The principal kept looking over and smiling during dinner, so I’m guessing that’s good?  Also, he said he was impressed that I was trying all the different Korean food.  So I guess that counts for something. 

Other random points of interest:

-Apparently the last English teacher here married a Korean man while she was here.  Almost every teacher so far has pointed this out (big shoes to fill?!)  Of course, it’s almost funny because before I left many of my friends and family predicted that this is what I was going to do.  But there have been a lot of awkward comments about this kind of stuff…when I was sitting with the other English teachers tonight the principal looked over and said “and you’re all single!”  I don’t really know what to say to that. 

-Along the same lines, during my car ride with my co-teacher today, she was asking what American men are like and what men and women look for in each other when they want to get married.  It was a hard question for me to answer, but when I asked her about it in Korea, she told me that the most important thing men look for is how attractive a woman is.  She then told me that the most important thing for women is how much money a man makes.  She told me about how common plastic surgery is among women now.  In order to get married to a wealthy man, they think that they have to be more beautiful, and therefore get surgery to do so.  Of course, this is a broad statement, and I’m sure many people don’t look for those things in others, but it must be true enough that she would come right out and tell me.

I knew that Korea is a very image conscious country, and I knew about the plastic surgery craze that is going on, but it was still surprising to hear her talk so openly and matter-of-factly about it. 

The idea of beauty in this country does, and probably will continue to fascinate me.  Almost all the teachers have told me things along the lines of “ohh, the boys here will love you!”  Today when I was in the office a group of boy students walked in, asked my name, and then shouted “you are so beautiful!”, giggled, and then ran away.

Now, compliments are nice and all, but it really is fascinating to me because I would consider pretty much all of these Korean women to be much more beautiful than I am, but many feel they are inadequate and feel the need to go to great extents to change their appearances.  I’m sure I've only experienced the tip of the iceberg on this issue, but it is nonetheless really fascinating (and sad) to see.

-I have a wireless router in my apartment, but I don’t know the password to get on.  I asked my co-teacher, but I think she forgot.

-I only have cold water in my apartment.  I also asked my co-teacher about that, but I think it was also forgotten.  So for at least another day, I will take a cold shower in the morning. 

- I tried squid today.  And I liked it.