Korea: One Year Later

"No one realises how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow."- Lin Yutang

Last month marked one year since I left Korea. As you can imagine, this anniversary left me with plenty of mixed feelings. Naturally I felt a sense of sadness for the fact that this part of my life is slipping more and more into the past, but I also felt a sense of contentment with where this year of life has brought me.

When I count the memories from the last 365+ days, it feels like I've been back for much more than one year. At times my life in Korea feels surreal, like it was just a dream. At the same time, there's a part of me that feels like if I jumped on a plane and landed in Incheon, I could easily slip back into my life in Korea without skipping a beat.

Adjusting to life back in America had it's challenges, but admittedly I think I had it much easier than many other expats who return home, as I had a job waiting for me when I got back. There really was very little time to think about the changes I was going through, which is quite the opposite of what I had expected to happen until I was offered a job a week before I left Korea. 

When my plane landed in America I had one day to renew my driver's license and take care of other urgent matters, then the next day I was off to orientation for my job. I struggled through jetlag and the general disorientation of coming back to America in the midst of meetings and other professional development activities, while trying my hardest to make a good first impression. The following week the school year started, and as any teacher knows, once the school year starts there's hardly any time to catch your breath. 

Despite this whirlwind, I think the hardest part of initially coming home from Korea was that everyone was really excited to see me, and don't get me wrong, I was happy to see them too, but my emotions were much more complex and happiness was something that was a bit hard to radiate to those around me. Talking about Korea was at first nearly impossible for me to do without crying. I admittedly spontaneously broke into tears multiple times throughout my first two weeks back home--largely the result of emotional overload, jetlag, and the pressure of a new school year.  

I felt a pressure to be happy when I returned home, but in reality a large part of me felt nothing short of heartbroken to leave behind not only the town I called home for two years, but my expat family in Korea. Perhaps the most difficult part of leaving Korea was leaving behind the completely unique period of life--a time without any serious commitments, ample opportunities to travel, and enough free time to make plans with friends pretty much any night of the week. Not many people get the chance to have a few years to themselves-a few years to be the center of your own world, to save and spend money on whatever you want. When I came back to America, I knew I would never again have the amount of freedom that I had in Korea. Although I knew I couldn't grow anymore professionally in EPIK, it didn't make it any easier to leave it all behind.

With this mix of emotions, it felt perplexing be right back where I started: home, in my childhood bedroom. Physically I didn't look much different than I did before I left for Korea, but those were two enormous years and I was not the same person I was before Korea.

As I lay in bed, I thought of the person I was just two years before, when I was in the same room frantically packing my two suitcases, not even knowing which town I was going to be living in once I got to Korea. It was strange to be back in the same room and the same bed, but this time knowing intimately the landscapes, food, people, and customs on the other side of it all. Korea felt so much like home that it was hard to imagine a time when the thought of going there was terrifying to me.

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Even though a part of me still longs for that kind of life I left behind in Korea, this year has been fulfilling and full of wonderful moments. I'm so lucky to have gotten a job at the same district I taught at before I went to Korea. I still cannot believe that things worked out so perfectly for me, and I am immensely thankful for it. I live in a great place with great friends, and after a very long year of texting daily and strategically planned Skype sessions,  I have a boyfriend who loves traveling (and Korea) as much as I do with me in NH. I got to see two of my best friends get married, and I finally got to indulge my wanderlust once again in traveling to Europe over the summer. 

The list of things I miss from Korea is endless and I think about it all the time: the amazing food (kimbap, dalkgalbi, jjimdak, samgyeopsal, please!), lots of free time at school, essentially no work outside of school, the ability to travel on weekends and on every vacation, and of course the people.

There's also quite a long list of things I don't miss, which is admittedly much easier to forget about than the things do I do miss. I sometimes have to remind myself of these things when I find that I'm glamorizing my former life. For example, I do not miss not being to advocate for myself at school and being constantly dependent on coworkers, the constant language barrier that made things as simple as going to the store or post office difficult, being stared at constantly, and being pushed out of line at the grocery store.

Every now and then (especially when things are feel especially stressful), James and I throw around the idea of returning to expat life. It's a common thing for people to turn back to expat life after returning home. There are a number of reasons why this happens, but I think mainly once you learn how much is out there in the world, it's harder to stay content in one place. The adventure of traveling is addicting, and it ultimately lures many back to expat life. Truthfully, I wouldn't be opposed to living abroad again if the situation were right, but James and I both agree that right now isn't the right time. I'm not sure if the right time or situation will ever come our way, but if the last few years have taught my anything, it's never say never. 

Meanwhile, one of the things that has been great about being back has been reconnecting with friends from Jeomchon outside of Korea. Luckily one of our friends from Jeomchon lives in VT, so when he was home from his current job in Abu Dhabi we got to visit with him for a while. We also got to meet another friend, who is currently teaching in Sweeden, when we took a trip to Europe over the summer.

Jeomchon reunion in VT!

Jeomchon reunion in Germany!

I know I said it frequently throughout this blog, but there's something incredibly unique about the friendships that are made while living abroad, and it's been nice to see how easy it is to catch up despite the time that has gone by. I am comforted by knowing that there will be many more reunions in the future-these relationships are not lost and that is something that makes post-life Korea life much more bearable.
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When I got home a lot of people would ask me "How was Korea?" I think everyone who returns home from expat life has the same feeling about this question-it's impossible to answer. There's no way to answer the question that would convey the enormity of the experience. My two years in Korea were the best years of my life, and they profoundly changed the way I view myself and the world. So how was Korea? It was everything. It was exciting, draining, beautiful, frustrating, hilarious, enlightening, complicated, yet incredibly simple. I miss it every day.

I only have a few friends left in Jeomchon, and I'm guessing that over the next year my remaining expat friends will also move away. I know so much has changed in Jeomchon over this year, and it will continue to change as time goes on. In my memory though, I have such a vidid feeling of what it was like to share in that extraordinary period of life with such an incredible group of people. In my mind when I think of Jeomchon, I will always think of it the way it was when we were all there together, running around town and sharing the unique experience of being foreigners in small-town Korea. My sadness that those moments are over is far outweighed by my gratitude for the pure existence of those fleeting moments. How lucky I am to have experienced such an adventure with such a lovely group of people from around the world.

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This is the last time I ever intend on writing in this blog (unless I somehow end up in Korea again, of course!) With that, I want to thank everyone who followed my journey. I don't think I ever could have made the decision to move abroad without the support of my friends and family, so for that I owe you so much. I know it isn't easy to maintain relationships with people living on the other side of the world, and I am so thankful that so many people put in the effort to maintain a relationship with me while I was away. Expat life at times makes you feel isolated and forgotten by those at home, so every kakao, skype session, or piece of mail was appreciated in more ways than you can know.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

"Once you have traveled the voyage never ends, but it is played out over and over again in the quietest chambers. The mind can never break off from the journey."-Pat Conroy

Goodnight, Jeomchon.

This has been one of the craziest and most overwhelming weeks of my life. After I got back from Vietnam I got a job interview, then I got a job...then I changed my flight to an earlier date, finished packing my things, completed paperwork, and said goodbye to many important people and my life in Korea.

I am exhausted in every sense of the word.

It's time to leave Korea. I know it's time to move on, but that doesn't make it any easier to leave. My life will never be this way ever again, and that's something that sits heavily with me. There are no words to describe what these past two years have meant to me, or how much it breaks my heart to close this chapter.

I never predicted that life would take me here, but I'm so immensely thankful that it did.

"I am not the same having seen the moon on the other side of the world."--Mary Anne Radmacher

Getting Started

As most of you know, I was lucky enough to spend three weeks traveling in January.  Although it hasn't been quite a month since I left for this adventure, as I look back at my photos and journal it certainly feels like it's been longer just because of the number of things I saw and did during that time.  This was my first time traveling by myself, which means I was entirely in charge of the planning and organizing of everything for this trip. I guess the first thing I learned about traveling by myself is that it makes me much more organized.  Overall I felt really prepared for this trip--by the time I left school on my last Friday before my trip I had everything booked, printed, and my bag was packed.

My flight left on January 12th, but I actually went up to Seoul on January 11th to say goodbye to one of my Korean friends who was about to leave to study French in France for the year.  It was a bit of a bittersweet start to the trip because I met Ji Young early in time time in Korea, which means by this point we've collected quite a few memories together over the past year and a half.  As I said bye to her I couldn't help think "man, there goes another one."  Out of all the people I used to hang out in Seoul with, Ji Young was the last one from our "group" that was still here.  Of course, it wasn't really goodbye--she is one of the people I really do believe that I will see again.  Nonetheless, it was a good reminder of how quickly time goes by, which was a good boost of motivation to see as much as possible while I'm still in Asia.

After saying bye to Ji Young, I went back to my hostel and had a restless night's sleep.  One of my friends who knows me all too well sent this to me the next morning:

I don't think there's a better way to describe how I feel before I travel.  I never sleep well the night before I fly because 1) I'm afraid I'll oversleep and miss my flight 2) I really, really hate flying  3) I don't know what to expect of these places I've never been and 4) Excitement...because even though it's kind of terrifying that so much is unknown, it's also exhilarating.

Before I fly I actually quite often feel nauseous due to my anxiety, but luckily I wasn't SO bad this time, but I was mostly thinking about how I wanted to SLEEP once I got on the plane.

Nonetheless, I got on my flight, which was scheduled to leave around 1:00, but we ended up getting a little delayed. I didn't think it would be a problem because I was scheduled for a two hour layover in Vinetiane. And while it shouldn't have been a problem, our flight landed about an hour later than it was scheduled for, even though we only left about fifteen minutes late.  Again, this would have been ok, but I knew once I landed I needed to apply for my visa, go through customs, check into my next flight, and go through security again.  Needless to say, by the time we landed I was staring at my watch and ready to speed walk my way through any lines.

I rushed off the plane and luckily I found the smallest airport I've ever been to.  I filled out my visa form and was almost immediately given my visa (I'm pretty sure they didn't even look at what I wrote at all)  I was through customs in a breeze and walked over to the check-in area for domestic flights.

This is pretty much when I knew I wasn't in Korea anymore.  There were only a few small counters and when I went through security there was only one metal detector and the guy who was supposed to be watching it was quite literally picking his nose. When it came time to get my ticket checked there was no scanner, but just a list that my name was crossed off of.  There was only one room that everyone waited in, and when it was time to board there was no intercom--they just yelled and announced our flight.

I made it pretty much just in time to board my flight, which was fortunately a very short one.  Technically I could have saved some money by taking a bus from Vientiane (the capital of Laos) to Luang Prabang, but that would have been about a 7-8 hour bus ride, and I just didn't want to spend that kind of time on a bus during my short vacation.  The flight to Luang Prabang was only about 30 minutes, and I spent pretty much the entire time with my eyes glued to the window.  Laos is an incredibly mountainous country, and I was flying over the amazing landscape just as the sun was setting.

Once we landed, I walked off the plane into the refreshing rush of warm air, which is always a rejuvenating feeling when you're in the middle of a Korean winter.  I was also greeted by one phenomenal sunset.  Laos certainly knows how to make a good first impression.

Once I made my way to the arrival hall, I exchanged my money and got a cab to take me to my hostel.  Driving around and seeing the tuk-tuks everywhere I felt my anxiety diminish as I realized I was really back in SE Asia.

Once I got to my hostel I checked in and immediately realized it definitely wasn't as nice as I had been hoping for (or expected due to its good reviews online), but I knew I had to deal with it for at least a night.  I met my three roommates--a girl from CA, a girl from Europe (I don't remember which country because she left the next day and I never really got to talk to her), and a guy from Brazil.  After introducing ourselves and having some small talk I was asleep early that night--between the sleepless night beforehand and the stress/anxiety of flying, I was done for, but looking forward to getting out and exploring the next day.

Difficult goodbyes.

A year ago at this time I was still at EPIK orientation.  The entire time at orientation we all couldn't help mildly freak out as we were filled with anxious curiosity about our placements.  As different as the myriads of EPIK teachers are, we are all cut from the same cloth to some extent. We all lack a certain amount of sanity because we all ditch our lives in our home countries and move to Korea without knowing where in Korea we will be living or even what grade we will be teaching. All of this information is a surprise they leave until the last day of orientation, which looking back on it seems even crazier to me now than it did even then.

I will never, ever forget the day we found out our placements.  They separated us into classrooms according to the buses we would be taking the next day to meet our co-teachers.  On the door to our classroom was a list with our names and our placements.  Naturally it was written in Korean, and being a Korea-newbie I had no idea what it meant, so I asked another member of our class who was Korean-American to tell me.  He told me I was placed in a town called Mungyeong.  I instantly freaked out because I had never heard of it, and while many other people were headed to the same cities, I couldn't find anyone else going along with me.

Even after I met my new co-teacher, it was some time before I actually met any other foreigners here.  I was almost convinced that I was going to be in for a long, solitary year in Korea.  Luckily, one Friday night the foreigners found me, and suddenly I knew I wasn't going to be in this alone.  What I didn't know was just how much I would come to love the people in this town.

There's a certain bond you form when you live with other people. I remember when I started college I was amazed at how close I felt to my friends.  We bonded quickly and deeply because we weren't just going to class together, we were living together and sharing every single crazy high and low together.

When you live in an expat community it's a similar situation.  You're not just hanging out all of the time, but you spend our holidays and birthdays together, being each other's families when those who share an actual bloodline with you are on the other side of the world.  You share the random, crazy, and sometimes incredibly frustrating experiences of living in a country that only other people who have lived here can understand.  Although I can share the stories about being in Korea, no one will ever understand like the people who have been here with me, experiencing the same thing. You share the happiest, saddest, crankiest, drunkest, funniest, and most vulnerable moments with these people because it's just what you do as an expat--you share it all, for better or for worse.

I was recently talking with a friend at home about our expat community.  I mentioned how much I have learned from living and becoming friends with these people because often times the people who I love here aren't people I would typically choose as my friends back home.  When you're home and surrounded by tons of people who you can communicate with, you can get a little picky about who you let into your friend pool.  It's different in Korea. It doesn't sound eloquent, but it's true: we don't have have many options, at least in small towns like ours.  This has turned out to be the greatest gift though, because it's forced me to look far beyond differences and come to love the "types" of people I never thought I would find myself close with. We have so many distinct personalities in our town, that I've sometimes joked that we could be a cast on a sitcom because we are all different "types" of people. However, these differences are what has made this community even more like a family and a truly exceptional place to live.

It's for this reason that it's been so difficult for me to say goodbye this week.  Some of the people leaving are the people who helped me make sense of my life in Korea.  They were the ones who took me under their wings when I was the newbie in town who didn't even know where Homeplus was.  They're the people I've traveled with and shared every step of this experience with. This place is going to feel so incredibly empty and lonely without these people. Every corner of this town will remind me of their absence for quite some time.

It's been a long week of farewells including an overnight trip to a pension Friday night, followed by a huge dinner, drinking,and the absolute best noraebang session I've ever been to on Saturday. Monday and Tuesday were filled with more goodbye gatherings as the last moments with these people approached. I don't think I've slept more than 4 hours each night this week, partly because of staying up late, and partly because the craziness has just meant that I haven't been able to sleep soundly because there's been so much on my mind.

I'll never forget the night I met the other Jeomchoners.  After the foreigners knocked on my door and found me, we went to a farewell party for a girl who had  lived here for a few years.  And yes, a farewell party is an incredibly awkward time to walk into a room as a new, excited-about-everything person.  However, while I was surrounded by a room of people who were strangers to me, I remember watching everyone in their sadness and thinking "this will be me a year from now."

I had a real full-circle moment last night as we gathered to say goodbye to probably my absolute best friend in Korea.  We were at the same bar we were at a year ago when I met everyone at the farewell party, when the one new person in our town arrived.  How strange it was to be on the other side of things, just where I always knew I was going to be.

Emotional overload.

I am feeling an overwhelming mix of just about every emotion at the moment.

Today was my last day at my high school.  In the morning faculty meeting I had to say goodbye to the teachers of the school.  After the meeting was finished we all had to take a picture together, in which I was in the front sitting in between the principal and vice principal.  Koreans do love their photo opps.

After the meeting I was planning on taking the bus to my new schools because my new CT requested that I go there today.  Instead, the principal insisted on bringing me himself.  The funny thing is, it wasn't just the principal that brought me, but the vice-principal joined as well.  It was kind of hilarious bring escorted to my new school with both the principal and vice-principal because naturally they walked me into the building, and then we all had tea with the new school's principal and vice principal.  I felt like a child being dropped off on the first day of school.

I was really caught off guard by these kind actions from my principal and vice-principal.  I never thought that my principal and vice-principal disliked me, but I certainly never thought they cared that much.  On the drive to my new school my principal said that "he felt like I was part of his family and if I ever miss the bus to school, I should come to the high school and they will drive me." I'm just beginning to realize how fortunate I have been over this past year.

I have so many thoughts about leaving my school and moving to elementary school, but I can't quite process it because right now my main focus is on saying goodbye to some of my best friends I have in Korea.  I can't fathom being here without them, so I'm just beyond emotionally drained at the moment and the whole new schools situation hasn't even been my top concern.  I'm going through the motions, but in no way feel like this is my new life in Korea.

I'm sure in another week I'll be able to process everything better, but right now I'm just such a mess of emotions that it's a little hard to believe that any of this is actually real.

The season of change

"You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere.  That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place."--Miriam Adeney

My friend Jackie sent me this quote months ago, but it's only recently I can really feel the weight of it.  I love my life abroad, but recently I'm realizing that the decision to come to Korea has made my life infinitely more complicated.  I'm not sure I will ever feel completely "home" ever again.  For the rest of my life, I will have friends that live around the world.  It's a tremendous blessing, but at the same time, even when I return to NH, home will never quite be the same because my heart won't ever fully be there ever again. It's always going to be in Korea, South Africa, and Hong Kong to name a few. It's a blessing, but one that is going to take time for me to lean how to be comfortable with.

Things are rapidly changing here in Jeomchon.  Not only are the days getting longer and warmer (it's light when I leave work AND there aren't any temperatures lower than 45 degrees in the forecast!), but this is also the time of year when people leave Korea. It's the season of goodbyes.

I've never been good at dealing with change.  I mean, I'm the girl who cried every single year when I had to move out of my college dorm room. I know change is a part of life, but I just don't deal with it well--especially when it means losing people who are important to me.  I know it goes with the territory of being abroad, but as much as everyone says I'll get used to it, I'm not sure I ever will.

Luckily, I don't have too many goodbyes to say.  Jeomchon will lose the majority of its people in August, and most of the people leaving this intake weren't around too much.  However, I did have to say goodbye to Jackie, my friend from Hong Kong who I met way back in September.  Jackie is one of those people it was easy to become friends with.  She and I got close really quickly and managed to create quite the amount of memories in only six months.  Saying goodbye to her really sucked, even though I know that I WILL see her again (next time in Hong Kong!) And of course I know that we can easily communicate through Kako, Snapchat, and Skype.  Still, trips to Seoul just won't be the same.  I'm glad we got to have so much fun together, but my experience in Korea is definitely going to be different without her here.  This goodbye was by far the most difficult I'm going to have to do...at least until August, but I don't even want to think about that yet.

It's amazing how quickly you can get close to people.  So happy that I met this girl.  Already looking forward to reuniting in Hong Kong!

Things are also about to change at school.  Many of the teachers at school are leaving and new ones are coming in.  Things are being shuffled around, and today I had to move all of my stuff to a new desk (which made me realize I have way too much stuff). On Monday the new school year will begin and I will have a bunch of new students.  I've enjoyed my laid back schedule the past few months, but I'm looking forward to having a routine again. In the midst of these changes, I'm looking forward to having some stability returned to my life.  

In the meantime, I'm about as emotionally drained as I could possible be.  Between the traveling I've been doing over the past month, the chaos of this weekend, and saying goodbye to Jackie this morning, I'm just about ready to lock myself in my apartment for the next week.  I love being around people, but I eventually get to the point where I need to shut out the world and recharge--I'm definitely at that point now.  

Until next time!

xox

Orientation

Apparently I've almost been in Korea for a week?

What?

It's all been a blur so far, and despite the fact that I'm in another country, it doesn't really feel THAT different yet.

But let's start from the beginning.

I left from Boston on the morning of the 18th.  Talk about an absolute insane mix of emotions.  As I sat in the Boston airport feeling completely sick to my stomach and trying my absolute hardest not to cry, I was seriously questioning my sanity.  Did I REALLY think it would be a good idea to go to Korea? What had overcome me in the past few months?!  Why did I think this was a good idea?!

Nonetheless, I got on the plane.  I actually slept for my entire flight from Boston to Chicago--I guess the 3 hours of sleep I got the night before weren't quite enough.  Once I got to Chicago I felt a whole lot better--we had a ton of EPIKers on our flight, so I was surrounded by people in the same position that I was in.  We were all nervous, we had all just said goodbye to our families, and we all had no idea what was ahead. There was some sort of comfort in our collective uncertainty.

The 14 hour flight from Chicago to Korea wasn't nearly as bad as I was expecting.  There were plenty of movies to watch, and after days of stressing out about moving, it was kind of nice to sit back and just watch some movies and sleep.

Once we got to Korea, I gathered my things and met up with my recruiter.  From there we got on a bus with other EPIKers and began another 4 hour bus ride to our orientation site at Jeonju University.  We made a quick stop to get some food.  And what did I buy?

Pringles and Vitamin Water.

Nice work, Sarah.  Really starting life in Korea by taking in that culture!

Once we got to the University, we were all hot, tired, and had way too much luggage to haul around.  Luckily, check-in was easy enough (although they did check our temperature as part of the check-in process...random?)  and before not too long, we were finally in our rooms and ready for bed.

The next day started out pretty easyily.  We had a pretty awesome taekwondo performance at out Opening Ceremony...seriously these people were AMAZING! I really wish that I had recorded it because there's just no way I'll ever really be able to convey the awesome-ness that it really was.  You'll just have to believe me on this one.

Wednesday morning started with our medical check-up.  I knew about this check-up beforehand, but that didn't make it any less awkward.  This is a full on medical checkup--they do simple things from taking your height and weight, but they also do more intense things like take your blood and urine AND do an x-ray of your chest.  FUN!

Besides that, our days have consisted of classes until 8:30 night.  Classes range from everything from taekwondo (pretty fun!) to the more traditional stuff like lesson planning, classroom management, cooperative learning, and basically mini refresher classes on stuff I've already spent a lot of time learning about in college. It has been pretty exhausting to say the least, but after a year of being the teacher, it's interesting to be in the student's position again.

Today we went on a field trip around Jeonju's cultural sites.  It was really cool, but it was POURING pretty much all day (which is funny  because every other day it's just been INSANELY hot and humid).  We started the day by making a craft with traditional Korean paper (hanji).  Then, we headed to drumming class, where we all got to use traditional Korean drums --it was fun! Then we had a traditional lunch--bibimbap with a bunch of different side dishes.

After lunch, we headed to Hanok Village--this was a super cool area with some really traditional Korean architecture, but also plenty of modern shops.  It was a really cool area, and I definitely want to go back at some point when I have more time (and when it's not raining!)

Tonight we had the night off, which has been great because there really hasn't been any time to just chill since we've been here.  I've been meeting tons of people from all over the place, which is awesome, but also really draining.  I'm definitely the type of person that needs some alone time to recharge, so days that are so jam- packed with people 24/7 are super draining for me (don't get me wrong, going out after class has been fun!  But everything in moderation....)

Tomorrow and Sunday we have classes 9-8:30.  Monday we have our lesson demonstrations and meetings with our POE supervisors (and finally find out where we're going to be!), and Tuesday we head out to our new homes.

Although I've been in Korea for almost a week, it doesn't really feel like I'm in a different country because I am still surrounded by other westerners.  As much as I'm sure I'm going to miss orientation once it's done, right now I'm anxious to get settled into my new life and really start experiencing Korea.

Packing, leaving, and more goodbyes.

I'm not sure what time I woke up this morning, but I know it was early.  And I know that the instant I opened my eyes I was struck with some pretty intense anxiety.

It was my last day in the US.

With all the distraction of the show, I honestly hadn't let myself really pay much attention to the countdown of the time I had left at home.  The show took most of the day Friday, and then I went out with friends at night.  Then, just like that, it was Saturday. My last day.

I spent most of the day feeling like I either needed to vomit or cry. There was no puke (thankfully), but there were plenty of tears.

I was doing ok all day while packing and such, until I met up with Jess, Nate, Lisa, and Elizabeth at my church's festival. Being at my church, surrounded by my family, friends, and other people I have known my whole life was not the best location for me considering my already pretty fragile state.  I kept randomly starting to cry, which was obviously really awkward. Nothing some sunglasses can't fix.  I mean, what's wrong with wearing sunglasses at night?

After some hard goodbyes, I went home to continue packing.  Jess came over a little later to help me with the nearly impossible task.

Let me just say, packing for an entire year is HARD.  I used space bags and all, but I still ended up with two suitcases, a carry on bag, and a backpack.  And that's only after leaving behind a bunch of clothes that I really wanted to take with me.  I honestly don't know how people move abroad with only one suitcase.  I'll definitely be holding my breath when they weigh my luggage tomorrow.

As I was packing, my brother, sister in law, and nieces arrived.  I'm glad I got to see them, if only for a few minutes.  And of course, I got to hear those wonderful words of wisdom from my niece once again:

"Remember, teach them to say butt and fart.  And make sure they practice the 'R' in fart."

I don't really know what I'm so worried about--I think she has it all figured out.

Saying Goodbye

As evidenced by all of these lovely pictures, this has been quite the summer. After such an exhausting year of teaching, it's been nice to have a break and to finally be able to catch up with some of the friends I neglected during the year.  In short, I've been starting my summer mornings with yoga, and finishing my nights with my friends.  It really has been pretty great.

At the beginning of summer, it always seems like it will never end--August always feels so far away. When vacation started, I had this mental bucket list of things I wanted to do before I left for Korea.  I wanted to spend way more time at the beach, hiking, and taking other random day trips, but it is somehow already my last week in NH.  I am grateful that I did get to take some fun trips, but summer is never quite long enough to accomplish everything. 

I've also had to come to the realization that there are a lot of people I won't be able to see before I leave. In fact, I really only saw a small handful of the lovely people I wanted to spend time with before I left. I think I wanted a "perfect ending" to my time in NH, but I 'm realizing this week is going to be more stressful than anything else (and to be fair, that is my fault for over-committing myself).

Saying goodbye is exhausting.  I think I've been pretty good at avoiding goodbyes thus far, but there have been a few occasions where it's really hit me. Let me just say it's really awkward to randomly start crying out of nowhere in the middle of the bar on a Friday night. I'm not looking forward to having more of those awkward type of moments over this next week. Thank God for the internet/Skype, because I think it would be way harder to leave if it weren't for the technology we have readily available.

I am beyond thankful for my friends and family.  I know that some people move abroad when they are discontent with their lives--when they just want a fresh start from whatever they've been dealing with.  However, over the past year I was more content with my life than I ever was in college, and it makes me sad to leave that behind-- especially since I have no idea whether or not I will actually be happy with my life in Korea.  It really is the ultimate gamble.

But as I get older, I'm realizing (and becoming more comfortable with) the idea that life is always changing--even from day to day, we are not the same people--our friends, families, experiences, and opportunities continually change. I have no idea what my friends and family will be like in a year from now, but I know they will be different.  But so will I.  And I'm ok with that.