At this point in my Korean adventure, my life here is pretty routine. I know how to get around, I know where to buy the things I need, and I know where to find all of the important places in town. However, every now and then I still have days when simple tasks seem way too complicated.
Today, for example, I had to go to the bank. Online banking in Korea is ridiculously cumbersome due to all of the security attacks from the North. One of the things you need to do online banking is a certificate that is put onto your computer at the bank. This certificate expires once a year, which means that you need to go back to the main branch to get it renewed. Since my certificate recently expired about a month ago, I've been wanting to get this taken care of so I can send money home to pay my seemingly never ending student loan payments. However, I didn't have my ARC (alien registration card) or my passport because they were both sent away to the Chinese embassy to get my visa for China. Therefore, I had essentially no identification for a while, which makes taking care of bank-related pretty impossible.
Well, this week I finally got my ARC and passport back (complete with a Chinese visa, I should add!) Since I get out of school early on Thursdays, I knew today I HAD to go to the bank because any other day I will get home too late to make the banking hours.
After gathering my things, I walked across town to the bank's main branch. There is a banker here who speaks English and therefore becomes the default banker for every foreigner in town.
I hardly ever go to the bank, but just about every time I do it's a strange experience. Korean banks remind me of delis in American supermarkets. You have to take a number when you come in and wait for your number to appear before you are helped. However, typically when I enter the bank they see the confused look on my face (where do I get the number form? Which area of the bank am I supposed to go to? Do I need a form?) and direct me in the right direction.
Today I walked into the bank and the information desk was empty. Huh. This left me to awkwardly stand in the bank as everyone in the entire branch stared at me. And yes, everyone really does stare just because I'm a foreigner.
After waiting helplessly for a few minutes someone came over to see where I needed to go. I said that I needed help with my internet banking. I tried in my best broken Korean to explain that I had internet banking, but I needed a new certificate. I don't think that came across because the woman then brought me over to a desk and gave me a form....that was entirely in Korean. She then walked away and left me to fill it out on my own. I could figure out what about half of the things on the form meant, then I started to get frustrated as no one came back to help me....so, I waited. And waited. And waited more. I thought surely eventually that lady would come back, but nope. She did not. And I felt entirely like every person who worked there was doing their best to avoid me like the plague.
Finally, after feeling awkwardly ignored I took the paper and left the bank.
Here were my main thoughts as I left the bank:
--UGH! I really need to get this fixed or I won't be able to send money home and I have lots of bills that are automatically going to come out of my checking account very soon.
--Where was the guy who speaks English?
--Why didn't they tell me when he would be there?
--Why did they just walk away from me? I can't speak the greatest Korean, but I can meet broken English halfway with broken Korean.
--I know Koreans are shy to speak for foreigners, but come on....I'm not a scary person.
--Now I have to wait until next Thursday to go back. And then I can only hope the situation is different somehow.
--Well, that was sufficiently awkward for today. Enough Korea for one day.
Times like these, I really miss how independent I can be at home. I like being able to take care of my own problems without feeling like I have a room full of people staring at me.
Also, I miss having a co-teacher who helped me with these things...but that's a different rant and I don't want to get to negative about that issue.
On the bright side, I did manage to successfully mail things at the post office two days in a row. So, I'm not a complete failure at taking care of things in Korea.
Experiences like these give me a new level of empathy for people who live their whole lives as foreigners. I chose to move to Korea, but I know some people are forced to leave their home countries out of fear for their safety or for lack of adequate opportunities. I left my home country out of choice, and I know I can go back at any time. I can't imagine what it's like to live your whole life as a foreigner--where things are more difficult and where people avoid talking to you. Additionally, I am thankful that as many times as being a foreigner in Korea is frustrating, there are also many times we get treated exceptionally well, with free gifts or unique experiences. I have a whole new sympathy for people who live their whole lives as foreigners, and I am thankful that when the time comes I will be able to go back to my home country, where I can freely advocate with myself.
Showing posts with label frustration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label frustration. Show all posts
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
A Little Rant.
I don't usually like to complain about my life in Korea because well, there's not really that much to complain about. Even when things annoy me, I have to remind myself that my life here is pretty awesome.
But then there are times like tonight, where after being at school from 9-5 I have to return to teach another class from 7-9. I love the kids in my night class, but wow, it's exhausting and there's no way around that. Typically I just count myself lucky that I don't have to stay at school so late every night like the majority of the teachers, but then there are times where even that doesn't quell my annoyances.
Times like tonight, when I went to my classroom, only to find it filled with third graders. At that point there was no one around who could speak English, so I had to use my students to figure out what was going on. We were redirected to another class, which was great....until the break when another teacher came in and told us her class would be starting in there. So I packed up all of my stuff and quickly changed my plans for the remainder of class to adapt to our now computer-less situation. But that isn't where the fun ends. Just as we settled in, we were told we were too loud (even though my 5 kids weren't at all), and we then set out to find yet another place to have the rest of class. In the midst of our wandering we ran into the Vice Principal who then joined our wandering, and finally after deciding there was no where else to go, told us to use the principal's office. Yes, you know it's bad when you are using the principal's room for your class.
Moments like these make me frustrated because it can totally ruin plans for class. If I'm planning on using a powerpoint or video, my plans can go out the window instantly. At this point I seldom even plan using any of those things for my night classes because it's just so frustrating to have it all pulled out from underneath me at the last minute.
However, most of all, the frustrating thing is not being able to explain or stick up for myself. It's so frustrating not being able to figure out or able to accurately ask anyone where I am supposed to even be having class. It makes long days that much longer. It's a good thing I love my students, because otherwise being at school would be a nightmare--it turns out not being able to communicate with your coworkers can incredibly frustrating and isolating.
Ok, rant over. Although my life in Korea is wonderful 98% of time, I don't want to paint a false picture for you all. There are plenty of times my patience is pushed to the limits, and tonight was definitely one of those times.
But then there are times like tonight, where after being at school from 9-5 I have to return to teach another class from 7-9. I love the kids in my night class, but wow, it's exhausting and there's no way around that. Typically I just count myself lucky that I don't have to stay at school so late every night like the majority of the teachers, but then there are times where even that doesn't quell my annoyances.
Times like tonight, when I went to my classroom, only to find it filled with third graders. At that point there was no one around who could speak English, so I had to use my students to figure out what was going on. We were redirected to another class, which was great....until the break when another teacher came in and told us her class would be starting in there. So I packed up all of my stuff and quickly changed my plans for the remainder of class to adapt to our now computer-less situation. But that isn't where the fun ends. Just as we settled in, we were told we were too loud (even though my 5 kids weren't at all), and we then set out to find yet another place to have the rest of class. In the midst of our wandering we ran into the Vice Principal who then joined our wandering, and finally after deciding there was no where else to go, told us to use the principal's office. Yes, you know it's bad when you are using the principal's room for your class.
Moments like these make me frustrated because it can totally ruin plans for class. If I'm planning on using a powerpoint or video, my plans can go out the window instantly. At this point I seldom even plan using any of those things for my night classes because it's just so frustrating to have it all pulled out from underneath me at the last minute.
However, most of all, the frustrating thing is not being able to explain or stick up for myself. It's so frustrating not being able to figure out or able to accurately ask anyone where I am supposed to even be having class. It makes long days that much longer. It's a good thing I love my students, because otherwise being at school would be a nightmare--it turns out not being able to communicate with your coworkers can incredibly frustrating and isolating.
Ok, rant over. Although my life in Korea is wonderful 98% of time, I don't want to paint a false picture for you all. There are plenty of times my patience is pushed to the limits, and tonight was definitely one of those times.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Everland/Other Updates
I AM SO TIRED.
Yep, definitely feels like I'm teaching again. I've said it before, but teaching really does exhaust you in a way that nothing else does. Add in the constant confusion and lack of understanding of what is going on, and it takes the whole teaching thing to a new level.
These past few weeks have been ridiculously busy. When I think about the fact that I haven't even been in Korea for a month yet, it totally blows my mind. I feel like I'm still living in a fog of emotions/experiences.
My first week of teaching went pretty well. I did an introduction lesson in every class with information about where I'm from, what I like to do, and a little information about my family. The students really enjoyed seeing photos, and I loved seeing their reactions to everything (they thought my dad was really handsome and they thought any boy in a picture with me was my boyfriend). I also enjoyed their questions--the first question was always to ask if I had a boyfriend. Several classes asked if I would date their teacher (my co-teacher, who was always in the room when they asked....nothing like making things awkward!) My favorite question was probably when one girl asked how I am so slim when so many Americans are fat. Classic.
I still need to take pictures of my school and explain how the school system works here in Korea. It's coming, I promise.
This past weekend I had a few visitors, which was nice, even though I am a terrible tour guide at this point since I really don't know anything about this city yet! I have some major learning to do!
Monday was our school trip to Everland. Well, only the first graders went there--the second grade went somewhere else, and the third graders are too busy studying for their college entrance exam, so they didn't go anywhere.
I got to school around 7:30 AM, and I was glad to see that one of the other English teachers I met back at the first staff dinners would be the other teacher on my bus (and by default, responsible for spending the day with me). She is really young and speaks English really well, so I was relieved to know that that would at least make the day easier.
We were probably only on the bus for around 30 minutes before we stopped at a rest stop. Korean rest stops are far superior to US rest stops, by the way. I wanted to take pictures, but I didn't know if that would make me look totally weird...I'm not quite in that comfort zone to be THAT American yet..
We all got coffee (that the school paid for), and got back on the road. About an hour later we arrived at Everland. Everland is an amusement park, kind of like the Disneyland of Korea. The kids went their separate ways and we started to walk around the park. We checked out a lot of the animal related stuff--they have some really cool safari bus rides that you can do that bring you REALLY close to a lot of the animals.
After a while, we stopped by a drink stand and as I pulled out money for my drink, the other teacher told me that "No, the school will pay! Anything you want...it's free!" Not such a bad deal.
We spent a lot of time walking around because my other teacher friend doesn't like rides. There were some cool roller coasters I wanted to go on, but I obviously wasn't going to go ditch her to go on them...oh well, maybe another time!
Our day was nice, but one of my favorite parts of the day was seeing the students having FUN and being kids. There kids are ALWAYS at school. In fact, they are still at school as I write this. It blows my mind. I am so glad that for at least one day, they got to enjoy themselves.
We left Everland around 4:30. We stopped again on the way home (apparently a 2 hour bus ride is just too long to do without stopping?), and by the time we got home I was EXHAUSTED. Of course, when we got back I was informed that the teachers were going to a restaurant for dinner. All I really wanted to do was go home, but it's not good to pass up those opportunities, so all headed over to a local restaurant for some food. Finally, I was home and completely wiped. (it was probably 8:30 by that point). But I had to finish preparing a few things for my classes the next day--the last thing you want to do after a long day.
School yesterday was crazy stressful, but you can read more about that in my last post.
Today I reached a somewhat new level of school related stress.
I have always been a perfectionist--when I was a student I would stay up ridiculously late studying for tests, to the point where my parents would tell me to go to bed because sleeping was more important than school. Of course, I always ignored them, because not doing well was just never an option in my mind.
As I have gotten older, I have relaxed in many ways, but I cannot shake my need to feel like I am being successful in what I'm doing. It's one of the things that makes teaching very difficult for me--there are so many challenges, and it takes a long time and a lot of practice to really be a good teacher. When I was teaching in America, I always knew there were so many things I could do better, but when I was feeling like a complete failure I had a huge support network of people who understood how I felt.
Jumping into teaching here has been really challenging, in large part because I don't really know what is expected of me or how I am supposed to teach. Teaching English is completely different from teaching at home where I at least know what the curriculum is and the general accepted methods of teaching.
Only one of my classes here has a textbook, and it's really just a random assortment of English phrases. There is absolutely no coherent theme within the units. I've been getting mixed messages about how I should be teaching, and it's making it really hard for me to plan anything that I feel ok with.
After one of my lessons today, one of my co-teachers was telling me that some of the kids that are shy were getting discouraged because I didn't call on them to answer a question, and she told me I should call on the shy kids more.
Ok, I absolutely would. Except it is only my second time seeing these kids (and I have SO MANY STUDENTS!), so I really don't know which kids are the shy students yet. It's little things like that that can make it really frustrating for me to feel like I am being even somewhat successful.
That conversation made me feel really guilty, and the stress of school had me missing home in a big way today. Of course, right when I was at lunch trying to keep myself together, one of the teachers asked me about how I keep in touch with my parents--not the best timing for a question like that, when I was already trying really hard not to think about home. Let's just say I was very ready to be done with lunch today.
Anyone who has ever taught knows that it often takes a few times to get a lesson to the point where it's really any good. I am having to try so many new things, and sometimes things aren't working. This is a normal part of teaching, but I like I am really under the microscope, which makes me feel like if a lesson doesn't work out, I'm a bad teacher.
Please don't take this the wrong way--everyone at school is still extremely nice to me, but I can't seem to shake my inner perfectionist.
Also, don't take my rants to mean that I don't like teaching here. I absolutely love my students. They make my day, everyday. And anyone who has ever taught knows that that alone is why you teach--it's the students that make it worth it.
Yep, definitely feels like I'm teaching again. I've said it before, but teaching really does exhaust you in a way that nothing else does. Add in the constant confusion and lack of understanding of what is going on, and it takes the whole teaching thing to a new level.
These past few weeks have been ridiculously busy. When I think about the fact that I haven't even been in Korea for a month yet, it totally blows my mind. I feel like I'm still living in a fog of emotions/experiences.
My first week of teaching went pretty well. I did an introduction lesson in every class with information about where I'm from, what I like to do, and a little information about my family. The students really enjoyed seeing photos, and I loved seeing their reactions to everything (they thought my dad was really handsome and they thought any boy in a picture with me was my boyfriend). I also enjoyed their questions--the first question was always to ask if I had a boyfriend. Several classes asked if I would date their teacher (my co-teacher, who was always in the room when they asked....nothing like making things awkward!) My favorite question was probably when one girl asked how I am so slim when so many Americans are fat. Classic.
I still need to take pictures of my school and explain how the school system works here in Korea. It's coming, I promise.
This past weekend I had a few visitors, which was nice, even though I am a terrible tour guide at this point since I really don't know anything about this city yet! I have some major learning to do!
Monday was our school trip to Everland. Well, only the first graders went there--the second grade went somewhere else, and the third graders are too busy studying for their college entrance exam, so they didn't go anywhere.
I got to school around 7:30 AM, and I was glad to see that one of the other English teachers I met back at the first staff dinners would be the other teacher on my bus (and by default, responsible for spending the day with me). She is really young and speaks English really well, so I was relieved to know that that would at least make the day easier.
We were probably only on the bus for around 30 minutes before we stopped at a rest stop. Korean rest stops are far superior to US rest stops, by the way. I wanted to take pictures, but I didn't know if that would make me look totally weird...I'm not quite in that comfort zone to be THAT American yet..
We all got coffee (that the school paid for), and got back on the road. About an hour later we arrived at Everland. Everland is an amusement park, kind of like the Disneyland of Korea. The kids went their separate ways and we started to walk around the park. We checked out a lot of the animal related stuff--they have some really cool safari bus rides that you can do that bring you REALLY close to a lot of the animals.
After a while, we stopped by a drink stand and as I pulled out money for my drink, the other teacher told me that "No, the school will pay! Anything you want...it's free!" Not such a bad deal.
We spent a lot of time walking around because my other teacher friend doesn't like rides. There were some cool roller coasters I wanted to go on, but I obviously wasn't going to go ditch her to go on them...oh well, maybe another time!
Our day was nice, but one of my favorite parts of the day was seeing the students having FUN and being kids. There kids are ALWAYS at school. In fact, they are still at school as I write this. It blows my mind. I am so glad that for at least one day, they got to enjoy themselves.
We left Everland around 4:30. We stopped again on the way home (apparently a 2 hour bus ride is just too long to do without stopping?), and by the time we got home I was EXHAUSTED. Of course, when we got back I was informed that the teachers were going to a restaurant for dinner. All I really wanted to do was go home, but it's not good to pass up those opportunities, so all headed over to a local restaurant for some food. Finally, I was home and completely wiped. (it was probably 8:30 by that point). But I had to finish preparing a few things for my classes the next day--the last thing you want to do after a long day.
School yesterday was crazy stressful, but you can read more about that in my last post.
Today I reached a somewhat new level of school related stress.
I have always been a perfectionist--when I was a student I would stay up ridiculously late studying for tests, to the point where my parents would tell me to go to bed because sleeping was more important than school. Of course, I always ignored them, because not doing well was just never an option in my mind.
As I have gotten older, I have relaxed in many ways, but I cannot shake my need to feel like I am being successful in what I'm doing. It's one of the things that makes teaching very difficult for me--there are so many challenges, and it takes a long time and a lot of practice to really be a good teacher. When I was teaching in America, I always knew there were so many things I could do better, but when I was feeling like a complete failure I had a huge support network of people who understood how I felt.
Jumping into teaching here has been really challenging, in large part because I don't really know what is expected of me or how I am supposed to teach. Teaching English is completely different from teaching at home where I at least know what the curriculum is and the general accepted methods of teaching.
Only one of my classes here has a textbook, and it's really just a random assortment of English phrases. There is absolutely no coherent theme within the units. I've been getting mixed messages about how I should be teaching, and it's making it really hard for me to plan anything that I feel ok with.
After one of my lessons today, one of my co-teachers was telling me that some of the kids that are shy were getting discouraged because I didn't call on them to answer a question, and she told me I should call on the shy kids more.
Ok, I absolutely would. Except it is only my second time seeing these kids (and I have SO MANY STUDENTS!), so I really don't know which kids are the shy students yet. It's little things like that that can make it really frustrating for me to feel like I am being even somewhat successful.
That conversation made me feel really guilty, and the stress of school had me missing home in a big way today. Of course, right when I was at lunch trying to keep myself together, one of the teachers asked me about how I keep in touch with my parents--not the best timing for a question like that, when I was already trying really hard not to think about home. Let's just say I was very ready to be done with lunch today.
Anyone who has ever taught knows that it often takes a few times to get a lesson to the point where it's really any good. I am having to try so many new things, and sometimes things aren't working. This is a normal part of teaching, but I like I am really under the microscope, which makes me feel like if a lesson doesn't work out, I'm a bad teacher.
Please don't take this the wrong way--everyone at school is still extremely nice to me, but I can't seem to shake my inner perfectionist.
Also, don't take my rants to mean that I don't like teaching here. I absolutely love my students. They make my day, everyday. And anyone who has ever taught knows that that alone is why you teach--it's the students that make it worth it.
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